I promised myself i would stay strong and never go down the path i once did, but what if all of this is gods plan? I try to pull myself away from the darkness but when can i truly say enough is enough?

Days i spend keeping myself occupied to blur the truth, but nights i spend alone, thinking about the what if’s. What if i didn’t go through the things i’ve been through, would it make me a better person or a happier one? Do things truly happen for a reason? or is it all just a myth, what good could possibly come out of being touched by another without consent? will it make me a better person or does it just add itself to the list of things i wished would erase themselves from my memory.

I hold onto hope that one day i will be completed and i can help complete another. Hope is all i have left, i hope this is all for a purpose. Feeling alone is normal, but when does normal become too much?

This is something i wrote a year ago.

A year ago i felt so empty and alone. I promised myself i would stay strong and that is what i did. I made a promise and held onto the little hope i had. Even though i relate to this more now then i ever have, i know deep down i’m not alone and those nights i would spend overthinking and falling into the darkness, i pushed myself to stay strong.

Over the past year i’ve become something i never though i would. I’ve found ways to cope and release my emotions instead of bottling them up, but most of all i’ve learnt that i’m not alone. It’s okay to feel sadness , it’s okay to admit when you need help. If you ever feel alone, remember i felt that too. I felt so alone that some nights i wanted to end it all, end all the pain and suffering once and for all. But now i know, those lonely night’s i spent crying and begging for the world to give me a break were all for a reason, a reason that made it all worth it. I’ve been able to work on myself, and although some night i still struggle, i know i’m not alone in this world.

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.