You engulfed me this month, captured me and held me hostage. Im just another piece in your game, where will you put me next? why is it you choose to trap me at my happiest? you push me right back to the start when the finish line is just in my reach.
I pushed myself so far, for you to just crumble in on me, i didn’t ask for this. You’re my unwanted friend. i’ve begged for you to leave countless times but you still hold on, yet your the only one who stays. You’re my closest but most unwanted friend, you know the deeper me, the me no one else sees.
I find comfort in you sometimes, i know our relationship is complicated and i should have ended it years ago but you understand me. You’re the only one who understands me. I try to let you go because deep down i know you’re bad for me but you’re here for me when i’m alone. I try to express how i feel to others but it becomes too complicated yet with you its easy. You’re my companion.
You’re bad for me sometimes (most the time) you feed on my sadness. I fight you away and hold you down but eventually you find your way out, it’s easy for you to find a way out. You know me more then i know myself, you know my weakness’s. I didn’t want to have to face you, but i do and you stay by my side.
Those moments i don’t want to remember you bring back to reality. You make me confront my fears head on, even when i try to push everything away and neglect the truth. You make me do things i never imagined i would (good and bad.) You Leave me feeling helpless but you still stay, you bring me down but you push me back to the surface when i drown.
Negativity surrounds you, society tells me your bad and i hate you. But through all of the pain you’ve caused you brought me back to reality. You stopped me pushing away the bad moments only to make me truly appreciate the good. You test my ability to fight but through all that fighting you made me see how strong i truly am.
So for that i thank depression for not allowing me to sink.
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine.