I look to you for advice but you tear me down, you push through the walls i built trying to stop you from punishing me. I work so hard to stop you from influencing how i feel, but you always find a way to break me down. You entice me into thinking you’ve changed but you never do…
You tell me I’m worth something, you give me the motivation to keep me going and then BOOM you shatter me. I try to tell myself that the words you speak are meaningless, I try to convince myself of your lies but I can’t, it remains. Nothing will take it back, even on those good days where you build me up, i know your potential.
My thoughts run loose and then i run back to you, i find comfort in your lies. You know me more than anyone and yet because of that you punish me. You watch my every move and creep in just when i needed space from you. Your timings always right, you know when I’m most vulnerable to your impact. You control me in ways no one else could, you know my fears, my secrets and my vulnerabilities. I feel so powerless around you.
You are me.
On days where i need your strength, you tear me apart, Stripping me of everything. I rely on you to keep me on the straight and narrow but yet you fail. You fail to tell me my worth instead, you tell me my worst fears.
I am my own worst critic
Loving yourself is hard when you too, find it hard to love yourself.
You get so busy making sure you’re making everyone else happy, you forget to make yourself happy. You try to not let anyone down, yet you let yourself down. You try to be something society tells you to be, but you deceive yourself by making yourself feel like you should be what society idealises.
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.