Societies’ representation of what we should look and be like is something I’ve felt I never fitted in with. I’m not like those girls you see in magazines or Instagram posts, I’m not someone who hides their creativity or mental health problems because society tells me to. The things that are considered ugly are the things that we get too ashamed to talk about because we have this illusion presented to us. Because of this I consider myself ugly and not because I want to but because I’m trained to feel that each imperfection I have, is abnormal.
I look at myself in the mirror, and what do I see? I see someone who wants to love themselves, I see flaws, scars all over my body, fat in places there shouldn’t and I see someone who’s desperately trying to fit in, but can’t keep up with societies ever-changing idea of perfection.
It’s normal to look in the mirror, but why does it have to be such an unnerving experience? Why does my mind point out each imperfection to tear me down?
I’ve lived with Body Dysmorphic Disorder my whole life and I can’t wait for the day where I can officially say I feel beautiful and not because I’ve got makeup on or because I’ve starved myself, but because I feel happy with the body I’m in. I’ve overlooked my BDD and let it control me, but I’m now ready to fight it.
I’m going to take a step in the right direction and challenge myself to stop trying to fit in because I never will. My scars, My excess fat, my hair and every imperfection I have, are Imperfectly beautiful I just need to believe it.
If you’re struggling to fit in, then please know you may not feel like you have a place in this world, but you do. You’re more in place than you think, we all feel different and out of place at some stage in our lives and that’s what brings us together.
Your story is unique and so different.
It’s not worthy of comparison.