You were never the enemy, I was.

I have neglected you for so long.
Not in just one way, but in many.
You keep me here and for that I should be grateful, but why are you so hard to love?
From the age of 10, I abandoned you. 
The words they told us weren’t true.
I’m sorry for believing them.
I took my pain out on you, you didn’t deserve those scars.
No one does.
I‘ve hated everything about you, and you never turned your back on me.
Every pill I swallowed, you fought off.
Each scar I left, you covered.

You didn’t deserve to be joined with me,
You never let me shut down when I gave you nothing.
You‘ve endured so much pain, more than you should ever have.
You came to battle with the one who was supposed to take care of you.
I‘m sorry. 
I‘m sorry for everything I‘ve done. 
You were never the enemy. I was. I should have seen the beauty in your curves and everything else. You were the one who battled my demons away when I had given up.
I kept you hollow, to fulfill my own idea of perfection. 
And yet, You never let me succumb to my own starvation. 

I’m sorry for not loving you. 
I promise to try harder and vow to give you all you need.
It won’t be easy to Love you, but I will, and one day I’ll see the beauty in all your imperfections.

I wish I could tell every young girl or boy with an eating disorder, or who has harmed themselves in any way, that they are worthy of life and that their life has meaning. You can overcome and get through anything. -Demi lovato