It’s time to forgive.

I’m someone who holds onto moments in time where people or things have wronged me, it’s left me dwelling on the past for far too long and now it’s time for me to let go and move forward with my life.

In my upcoming posts, I’m going to write letters to anything or anyone, forgiving them for what they’ve done.

My first letter goes to the man who took my dignity from me.

So, here goes…

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It’s been years now, yet you still have a hold over me. What you did and what you do every day since that day is something I can never comprehend. I was soo young and yet you still approached me to do what you did, I’ve hated you for a long time. Because of you I was scared to get public transport, because of you I’ve had to look over my shoulder everywhere I go and because of you, I lost my dignity. 

I’m older now and yet that day still haunts me, I kept it secret because I was scared and when I did open up it was too late…

You took power from me; I felt worthless. I didn’t think anyone would believe me, so I spent two weeks holding onto a secret, a secret that was eating away at me. My body was your toy and you made me hate it, I was confident before I met you, but you took that from me.

You took so much away from me.

I fell into a dark place, I wanted to die. I felt broken, I was ashamed and scared to continue my life because it meant I had to speak up. 

You left me with nothing. 

I remember everything that happened that day, the way you smelled, the surroundings, and what you did, but I know you don’t think about what you did.

I have so much anger and sadness towards you, but It’s time for me to let that go. Instead of letting you take any more of my life away than you already have, it’s time for me to move forward. 

I will never forget what you did, but I will move forward with my life without feeling ashamed, broken, or scared.

I forgive you.

I forgive you for what you did. Not for you, but for me. 

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Someone I came into contact with recently kindly wrote me this poem… I thought it was too beautiful to not share, and I hope you can all appreciate it as much as I do.

The leaves, they slowly fall from their tree I agonize that they cannot be reattached, they fall onto the ground from such great heights and then they succumb back into the very soil from which they grew.  The seasons move along quietly like a wordless song being ravaged by misfortunes…. I never saw spring come, but the trees stood strong and I noticed that they all had freshly grown buds, and for the first time in my life… My face could feel the sun. The leaves sprouted quickly and gave me shade, I was overwhelmed by the beautiful shapes they made. Then a bird from above sang a song for me It was her, I could hear that she was telling me that I can now be… free and live happily…