If you were to ask me a few years ago where I would be now, I probably would have said something along the lines of going to university.
I’ve planned so much these past few years than when they don’t happen I’m hard on myself. I’d planned on writing a book, being consistent with blog posts, and honestly just being more motivated to fight for what I want in life. But things don’t always go the way we expect and only now I’m realising that that’s okay.
These past few weeks I’ve spent time dwelling on my life and only looked to the negatives, the things I haven’t achieved, and instead forgot the things I have achieved this year. Although to some, their small achievements to me they’re not.
So, what have I achieved this year?
I had my first job interview. For me, my anxiety has stopped me from doing so much and just taking that small step has massively improved my confidence. Don’t get me wrong it’s still a working progress, but at least there’s progress.
I got my first job since my mom passed away!
I haven’t once thought about harming myself, for years I punished myself and now I’m in a place where I can say I’m free from that.
I’ve learned how to cope. Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things we go through. I used to see posts that would say it’s lifelong, but you learn to cope and live again which at the time I thought would be impossible, but here I am learning to live without my mom and cherishing every memory I have with her instead.
We all achieve things big or small, for someone with depression getting dressed or even showering that day is an achievement, and that’s something I’m finally learning to remind myself.
So, because of that, I want to stop being so hard on myself and punishing myself for not reaching my own expectations, that’s okay. Who knows where I’ll be in a year or ten from now, and honestly right now in my life I just want to focus on the here and now because life happens and who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow or even years from now?
From now on when I’m battling with myself and being my own worst enemy I’m going to remember the things I have done this year because the little things, aren’t so little.
Make time to celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how big or how small.